bg/ag publishing

2011-09-14T12:27:00.000-07:00

bg/ish: Life in the holler ain't changed much...

It's been oh, about a year and a half since I last contributed anything to this site. What can I say, we get a lot of vacation time around here. (see ag circa 2009)

I'm only mentioning my lengthy absence because well, it's been a fucking year and a half. It'd be a little odd if I just threw up some random "watch this clip" post and acted like I'd been here all along.

I was talking to a friend about writing yesterday and I started thinking about all the years that your boy ag and I have been writing shit to make each other laugh and I thought, well if I don't start writing for bg/ag pub at the very least, I'll never start writing again. So here I am.

* * * * *

The Pub was briefly reunited a few months back to attend WonderCon 2011, where we quickly discovered that we just didn't have the heart for the Con scene anymore. Fortunately, we were able to get a call for help out to one of the interns before being completely overwhelmed by the twisted maze of the Con's main hall. Eventually we were rescued as all I remember is waking up under a sunny sky at Dolores Park. As, always though, it was a much needed lift seeing ag and chair, as I tend to miss them both terribly.

ag got his Masters, and took a trip to his motherland. (Vietnam, not Missouri.) I couldn't be more proud of him, although I think we need to have a talk about the new 12 year old Vietnamese intern.

chair has her own blog now, and may have last been spotted in Tokyo.

* * * * *

Alright, enough of this "recap" nonsense. I'm feeling a bit rusty on the keyboard, so I'm going to work on something new and exciting like revisiting an old column...

...wait...

eh.

As usual, bg loves you and hates you just the same.

2011-09-14T12:17:00.000-07:00

Movies... Fuck 'Em - A Look Back at A Look Back

In January of last year I revived the (very) old movie column I used to write, Movies So Bad, They're Effin' Rad with the re-imagined and quaintly titled, Movies... Fuck 'Em column. In my review of the year 2009 in movies, I promised to revisit the column with an update on the movies from that year I had still planned to watch. So, in an effort to dust off the ol' blogging cobwebs, I'm gonna go ahead and rehash that old shit. What? Like you care...

* * * * *

My film watching habits have continued to evolve. I have a go-to cinema again, and have rediscovered the joy and nostalgia of going to see a film. It's funny, even now, looking back at that top 10 list from 2009 and knowing that if I wrote that same article now, at least 6 of those films would have been left on the editing room floor, proverbially speaking. World's Greatest Dad would easily be near the top of that list now as well.

So what about the films I'd wanted to see but hadn't? What impression, (if any) did they leave on me, and in some cases, just what the fuck was I thinking to begin with?

Fantastic Mr. Fox

As I've said previously, Wes Anderson is my favorite filmmaker currently working. I remember seeing Rushmore in the theater with ag and walking out knowing that in some way our lives had been changed. Much like the other films in Wes Anderson's repertoire, Mr. Fox has become a favorite of mine, and my appreciation for it grows with each viewing.

Where the Wild Things Are

I saw this on an airplane so I can't give a fair critique of it's visual impact, but it was an interesting film and seemed to have outstanding costume and set design. I won't be in any hurry to see it again, but wouldn't be opposed to it either.

Knowing

Hah. I mean, come on. What the fuck was I thinking? If you've seen this film then you are probably shaking your head in bitter amusement right now, and if you haven't, well, you're better off than those that have. I can't knock it completely however, as there is one scene that's worth a fuck. Fortunately you can see it on youtube and don't have to subject yourself to 90+ minutes of Nicolas Cage smearing his warm, sticky, Nicolas Cageness all over your face.

The Wrestler

Never saw it. So, moving on...

Zombieland

Surprising balance of humor, action and gore. Worth every penny of a free download. I'm not knocking it, I mean, it's no Shaun of the Dead, but it's no Zombie Strippers either. I'm not sure what that makes it...

In The Loop

I wanted to like this film. I'm typically a big fan of British humor. In the end though, I didn't find it particularly funny or engaging. It's still on my PS3 though, so, who knows, maybe some day I'll get the urge to hear the word cunt said proper.

(Nobody says "cunt" like the Brits. Seriously. When I was in Barcelona this summer I saw a scuffle at a bar with some British tourists and some local drunks. After grabbing a knife from a table place setting the Englishman went on a scathing rant against one "fucking cunt" in particular. Nary a fuck was given that night...)

Up In The Air

George Clooney stars as.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2011-07-31T18:44:00.000-07:00

agIsh: A Day in the Life

nv

2011-07-27T04:08:00.000-07:00

agIsh: Me, Here

An article I wrote for the PVNF newsletter:

The plane has lifted off, gears retracted; I write this with Vietnam's geography hours behind me but its impact fresh in my mind. It's difficult to get a true sense of Vietnam when your perspective is forced by hotel walls, the glare off a bus window, or the endless waves of desperate patients. Despite the number of clinics we endured, I never really understood until Saigon.

Our accommodations in Bến Tre were wonderful by any standard: electronic keys opened the doors to nicely furnished rooms where we'd sleep comfortably on our beds or be entertained by shows on an LCD TV. We'd occasionally share our day over drinks in a bar on the fourth floor, which provided relief from the confines of our rooms. Vietnam seems to be experiencing some of the luxuries we've come to expect as the standard in America. This is not the Vietnam I'd heard stories about.

Most days started with a bus ride that made us more tired than we already were. Some chose to continue their sleep in spite of the frequent honks and NASCAR-style driving. Others settled into a trance with eyes that seemed to look out at nothing and everything at the same time; I fell into this group. I'm sure we all noticed the long stretches of dense jungle that occasionally gave way to a hut or shack, the people swinging in cots seemingly with little worry of the day’s events, for good or for bad, or the piles of bricks that lined the roads of a country that was trying to decide whether it was in a state of growth or decay. Was the entire country like this? This Vietnam seemed familiar to me.

Our shared mission of providing healthcare to those in need realized the physical and emotional challenges we were warned of. As the heat reached its peak hundreds poured into the clinics seeking some level of comfort, often waiting hours just to receive vitamins. Our collective stories painted what seemed like an endless picture of extreme poverty and desperation: tears run down a child's cheek as he clutches onto his stuffed animal, a consolation prize for having four teeth pulled; doctors stuff a handful of gauze into a deep and incurable bed sore of a paralyzed man; an elderly woman holds little hope for more medication once her prescription runs out. Whatever we thought we were missing in our lives at home pales in comparison. Where was the support of their government? Was our camp making a difference at all? I'd been told stories of this Vietnam all my life.

But a painting can never be appreciated when your nose is that close to the canvas. You have to step back to be able to make any sense of it. Saigon was the contrast I needed to understand where I was.

Saigon can easily be mistaken for Los Angeles if it were not for the frenzy of motorcycles and mopeds. I expected the poverty and desperation here too but was welcomed instead with a beautiful airport, clean streets, and impressive architecture. In this modern-age Vietnam I oddly felt cheated. Not that I disapprove of a flourishing Saigon but I was struck by the grossly unequal distribution of wealth. My one day in Saigon was in stark contrast to my previous two weeks in the rural provinces of Bến Tre and Kiên Giang and seeing these two sides was a bit like learning a dirty little secret. I found myself feeling anger, sadness, and confusion, all at the same time, about a country that existed to me only in stories. The contrast helped me understand that Vietnam’s government should not be its defining quality but instead should be the people we came to serve who don’t remain downtrodden but find ways to endure in spite of the oppression and neglect.

I was born and raised in the U.S. and have virtually no family in Vietnam. There was no reason for me to look anywhere else. However, I felt a strange sense of “coming home” when I first spotted Vietnam from the plane. Is home where you are or where you should be? That's a question I thought I knew the answer to before the trip but now feel an incredible sadness having left Vietnam. In the days ahead, unpausing my life will take a little effort. I’ll miss waking up at 4am. I’ll miss sitting on the bus for hours on end. I’ll miss feeling a bit lost in the early hours of clinics before finding my way. But I’ll miss doing these things with the incredible people I met on this trip most. They contributed to an unforgettable trip and I hope to sustain long friendships with them. I look forward to going back with Project Vietnam and being with them again.

2011-07-25T12:52:00.000-07:00

agIsh: Home

I think they call it "post-travel blues". You come home to find that life was seemingly on pause, nothing has changed, and stands in stark contrast to the life you just left. It's boring. It's familiar. You fervently sift through pictures in hopes of sustaining those moments and feelings but it's just not the same. You start mentally planning your return trip but also realize that your life now, here, must move forward. Jet lag is not conducive. The sadness deepens.

I'll post more as I come out of this funk and get back on schedule. I really do want to share/document my time in Vietnam. Until then, I feel another nap coming on.

nv

2011-06-19T17:33:00.001-07:00

agIsh: [Happy] Father's Day

Given the limited choice between life and death, my father is bored of one and scared of the other. I'm not sure what to tell you, Dad, you kinda have to pick one. The only real third option is a coma and I'm not entirely sure how to guarantee that condition. I mean, if you want, we can make a couple of attempts. However, our first attempt may very well lead to one of the original choices you weren't entirely happy with.

So...yeah...[happy] Father's Day.

Your son,
nv/ag

2011-06-04T11:05:00.000-07:00

agIsh: Youtube. Schmootube.

Not sure when I first heard about these guys. Maybe it was from bg, maybe it was a random search for "awesome", but these kids have been consistently amazing in their videos. Great talent and great song.

nv/ag

2011-05-31T23:20:00.000-07:00

agIsh: Pound cake

nv|ag

2011-05-26T00:19:00.000-07:00

agIsh: MOTHER RRRUSSIA!! (or: I guess I'm going to Vietnam)

As all things, it started with an idea. Really innocuous too...not that going to Vietnam is necessarily dangerous or anything. It started with extra credit. The students were to volunteer at least two hours of their time for 10 points of extra credit. Some students gave blood. Some students volunteered at a hospital. One dude even signed up to donate blood marrow! However, a couple of students said, "We technically haven't volunteered time yet, but we are going to Vietnam in July to help needy children."

Knowing that I'd be finished with my thesis by that point, I guess that's all it took. I went to a meeting and was introduced to the coordinator. I was immediately welcomed with, "Oh! That's so great! We have the perfect job for you!" That night I emailed copies of my passport and Visa application. My next step is to book my flight and get my immunizations. So, in a matter of a week, I went from not giving Vietnam a thought to volunteering for two weeks.

I gotta tell you that I'm really looking forward to this trip. It's going to be hot as hell, we're going to be worked to the bone, and I'm sure I'm going to experience extreme culture shock...but I am really optimistic about this trip. The foundation (Project Vietnam, pvnf.org) aims to take people out of their comfort zone in the service of others and I can't wait.

I don't know why I didn't submit to my usual apprehensions on this one. Something about this...adventure, for the lack of a better term, clicked with me. And so, instead of mulling around and letting my fears wash the anticipation away, I acted. In retrospect, my reaction confuses me. Then again, I have no qualms about going. So, I guess it's all okay. Or maybe I've hit the too-old-to-care stage.

*shrug*

nv|ag

2011-05-21T19:36:00.000-07:00

agIsh: Aftermath

On this, the 21st day of May, 2011, a day on which none of us should be alive, I am bored out of my mind and love it.

Dear Past Me,

First of all, May 22nd exists. Second of all, I have taken your advice and am living up my boredom. The good news is that you successfully defended, the committee enjoyed your presentation, and required few revisions of you (which we sent today). Your advisor even gave you a bottle of wine and hugged you. Please resist the urge to push away. Rather, cordially accept it and move on.

I am currently considering a trip to Vietnam for charity work. Sounds like a lot of fun so you should keep this in mind when you're unable to sleep at night.

So, yes, things turn out well. However, embrace the fear and anxiety because it prepared you well.

Kind regards,
Future you

PS: Wear the blue shirt and red tie.

nv|ag

2011-05-13T19:55:00.000-07:00

agIsh: The Next Milestone - Part XIII

Hawaiian music did not work.

In other news...

Thank you for reading.

nv|ag

2011-05-11T20:55:00.000-07:00

agIsh: The Next Milestone - Part XII

The next couple of hours will be spent running through my presentation. Then comes the hard part: attempting to get some sleep tonight. I've set aside time for my usual eight hours of sleep but we'll see how it goes. Oddly, Hawaiian music calms me and knocks me out so I'll give that a try.

The next post will hopefully be a celebratory one.

nv|ag

2011-05-11T01:01:00.000-07:00

agIsh: The Next Milestone - Part XI

As planned, I took some time away from the script and went over the basics: lab techniques, concepts, and background info. I have no idea what they're going to ask me but I'm trying to cover as much as I can in the next couple of days. If I were to guess, the committee's going to concentrate on the science (i.e., techniques) of my project and probably ask a little about the background info.

I've practiced my script enough that I think I'll be able to wing it if my mind trips up. I'll still go over it a couple of more times out loud tomorrow so that I get used to hearing those words come out of my mouth.

My anxiety started out as fear but is now, as Marge Simpson put it, "a state of catlike readiness".

nv|ag

2011-05-10T01:18:00.000-07:00

agIsh: The Next Milestone - Part X

How bad can things really be if you have the love and support of your family and friends? I can only hope that I give them even a tenth of what they've given me. It's easy to forget the hundreds of things that are great in your life when one thing blinds you from them.

In three days, one way or another, things will be okay.

nv|ag

2011-05-09T01:29:00.001-07:00

agIsh: The Next Milestone - Part IX

In good spirits today. Although, I did wake up a little nervous this morning. I'm comfortable enough with the script that I think I'm going to take some time away from it to read up on lab techniques and background material. My family has been wonderfully supportive and that buffers some of my anxiety. I have three prep days left; two of those days are eaten up by work. *shrug* Eh.

nv|ag

2011-05-08T01:26:00.001-07:00

agIsh: The Next Milestone - Part VIII

Awesome. I woke up nervous again and felt like shit the entire day. I pushed through, though, and finished the third draft of my presentation. It included all the changes she wanted and some others that I made for fear of her quiet judgement. I've printed out my script and will spend the next couple of days memorizing. I have tomorrow (my family did mother's day stuff today, which I regret having to skip out on), Monday and Tuesday after work, and all Wednesday. I have to fit in some time to brush up on lab concepts too in case.

I need a day to step back from it all. I'm getting bogged down in the details of it and I know that's going to hurt me. I'm always telling my students: "Don't get lost in the details. Take a step back every once in a while and take a look at the bigger picture." I need to follow my own advice.

Fuck man, I'm nervous. I've been reminding myself to breath all day.

nv|ag

2011-05-07T02:35:00.000-07:00

agIsh: The Next Milestone - Part VII

I hope you wake up in the morning and stare at the ceiling wondering why you just did that: why you just woke up. I hope you're bored. I hope you drag yourself out of bed, sit on your ass all day, and just Netflix it away. You should really get into all those obscure movies you've been meaning to add to your queue but didn't because you judged the entire movie by the cover. After you get bored of that, I hope you YouTube it for the next couple of hours until dinner. I hope that after dinner you jump back onto Netflix until 2am then go to sleep. I hope that this cycle continues until school starts up, in which case, you'll finally have something to do. But I bet you'll still complain about all the grading you have to do, and blah, blah, blah.

The worst is behind you!

Don't look back and wish for this time again. Don't forget how shitty that meeting was today. Don't forget that it realized all your fears. Don't forget that dropping out was actually an option you considered! Yes, she's a bitch, but you never have to see her again. Be happy for that! Be happy that you have a chance to be bored! I have about 5 days left until our defense and what I wouldn't fucking give to have your "problems". I'm looking forward to it! Things could be a lot worse...and, in fact, they were. So, for my sake, enjoy doing nothing, okay?

Well, I'm gonna go to sleep now and try not to wake up nervous again. No promises, though. I'll tell you how it went in 5 days.

nv|ag

2011-05-05T10:42:00.000-07:00

agIsh: The Next Milestone - Part VI

Exactly one week to go. I woke up nervous again. All this shit going through my head. I rehearsed my script - I don't know how many times yesterday - and memorized half of it. I have to memorize the other half today...which happens to be the more difficult half. I'm hoping to memorize it and still have at least 3 or 4 hours before I go to bed tonight to run through the presentation itself a couple times.

My advisor meeting's tomorrow. I hope it goes well.

I'm not looking forward to it anymore.

nv|ag

2011-05-04T22:46:00.000-07:00

agIsh: The Next Milestone - Part V

Roller coast of emotion man. Yesterday I was cool but I woke up this morning short of having a panic attack. For some reason, I woke up and started thinking about questions I didn't have answers to. So for part of the day I was just in deep thought and looked for answers. I think I managed to find answers to most if not all of them. However, that anxiety hasn't left me entirely. I've been rehearsing my presentation all day today, scripting my words so I say just the right thing, and committing it to memory in spite of this looming fear.

My lab buddies gave me two pieces of advice: 1) your audience is the general public, not the professors so, 2) dumb it down. It's definitely much cleaner than it was last week and my slide transitions feel comfortable and natural, very much like an everyday conversation. My only concern really is that I've dumbed it down too much and will be asked to get into more detail. My script has room for a little wiggle room, but not much more. There are queues on screen and in my wording that lead me from one idea to the next. If I'm asked to incorporate more that orchestration might fall apart. I'll see though. No use worrying about a future that has yet to exist.

I just gotta plow through until Friday.

nv|ag

2011-05-03T21:54:00.000-07:00

agIsh: The Next Milestone - Part IV

I feel strangely confident that my presentation will go well. This will undoubtedly lead to procrastination and ultimately failure on the day of my defense. Over the years I've found that I do my best when I'm a little nervous heading into something. I've been teaching for about four years now and I still find myself a little nervous before starting class. It's weird, I can't explain it. All I know is that little voice saying, "You know this is going to end up shit, don't you?" needs to be there. A couple of days ago this voice was unbearable. Tonight, a little over a week before my defense, that voice is a whisper.

Then again, I do have that meeting on Friday and my advisor always manages to make me nervous no matter what I'm doing.

I'm now looking forward this meeting.

nv|ag

2011-05-03T02:03:00.000-07:00

agIsh: The Next Milestone - Part III

Damn it's hot. It's hard to think about anything else when this heat is just relentless. But, I can't afford to be anything less than on it. In 9 days, I make my final stand and in 9 days I'll be ready. Actually, I'll be ready in less time than that. I've been making pretty good progress. My first shitty version of my presentation took about a week to make. After some good feedback, I pumped out my better second version in about 24 hours. I think it's stronger because it sounds like me. I don't know who I was trying to be in my first version, maybe a pretentious graduate student, I don't know. But this version sounds like a conversation I'd have with some dude on the street.

Dude: "Aye, brotha, can you spare a dime?"
Me: "No, but I would love to talk to you about my research."

So, for the next couple of days I'll be committing my presentation to memory. On Friday I'll be meeting with my advisor and I'm sure there will be changes. Hopefully not enough to warrant a third version, though...cuz that shit would suck with less than a week to go.

Fortunately, no matter how bad I do, I'm pretty sure I'll pass. In the history of our program, only one student has failed so the odds are in my favor.

...I'd hate to be the second guy on that list though.

nv|ag

2011-05-01T14:42:00.000-07:00

agIsh: The Next Milestone - Part II

I managed to shorten my intro by about 10 slides last night. My first run-through of my presentation on Friday night with a couple of buddies of mine was pretty painful. I was being too wordy and I managed to bore myself while doing it. This second draft should be a lot cleaner and tighter. I have a meeting with my advisor on Friday and it should be even tighter after that. I still have two weeks to polish so I feel good about that.

I still managed to play about an hour and a half of Fallout: New Vegas in spite of how busy I am... *shrug*

nv|ag

2011-04-30T22:17:00.000-07:00

agIsh: The Next Milestone - Part I

I hate feeling alone. This is definitely one of those times. I think that's why I randomly click on my bookmarks: hoping that it refreshes with new content, assuring me that someone is just on the other side of that monitor.

You know it's bad when you've signed onto facebook chat. The only thing worse than facebook is facebook chat. :(

I'm blogging tonight to feel connected. To what or to whom? I really couldn't tell you. I guess it's just enough to be a random blog entry floating in this virtual space.

The reason I'm here and not out there is because of my next milestone. In a little under two weeks, I'll have to stand in front of a committee of professors and prove to them that I'm good enough to receive an 8.5 x 11" piece of paper that says "Masters" on it. I'm nervous...very nervous. To make sure that I perform well in spite of my anxiety I'm choosing to sit here and work.

But, there's the rub: the longer I sit, the less connected I feel, the worse my productivity.

So, in an attempt to reach a happy medium, I'm going to blog each night and share/track my progress. It'll help me move forward and should be fun to read after the fact.

Wish me luck. I need it.

nv|ag

2010-09-19T20:02:00.001-07:00

agIsh: Rapist Alert

Man, I hope they find this guy...

nv|ag

2010-09-14T19:59:00.000-07:00

agIsh: Yet another iPad review...

My desktop has paid its dues and is hinting that it wants to be put into the nursing home. Fortunately, I've always wanted a Linux machine in the house. Unfortunately, the desktop was already stripped down for use by my non-tech-savvy dad and Linux is going to blow his mind. So, I bought an iPad. Sure, it's mildly expensive but it's easy as dirt to use and I felt it was the best solution for my dad.

In my opinion, the birth of the iPad was absolutely necessary. After all, someone's gotta take the first step, fall flat on their face, so that the rest can learn what not to do. On the scale of usefulness, I'd rate the iPad a 2 (the Netflix and Star Walk apps each get a point). Another blog criticized the iPad as being a pure consumer of content rather than a producer of content and I couldn't agree more. You can read blogs, you can view [non-flash] video clips, you can listen to music, and you can read blogs...oh, and you can view video clips. Beyond that, though, the power of the iPad limits the user to updating blogs.

It's been said that the power of the iPad is in its apps and that the right app will make the iPad the machine to have. But how much can you really do with a machine that doesn't support Flash, doesn't have USB ports, and whose processor is capped at 1Ghz? 1GHz? That's like announcing the exclusive Ferrari with a Camry V6 engine (I love my Camry, by the way...thank you for asking). Even with the little that it does, I'm seeing how slow it can be (oh, forgot that multitasking isn't supported natively).

All that said, it's a slick ass machine and very fun to play with. If your needs don't extend beyond internet browsing, YouTubing, and other useless shit, the iPad is absolutely the best option for you. However, even the serious blogger should cross the iPad off their list and consider something like a netbook.

The Pub's alive, bitches!

nv|ag

2010-07-15T14:41:00.000-07:00

chair: how did i end up here

memories, retrospect, hindsight. these cerebral relics of the past will either make or break me. lately, it seems as though i’m leaving imprints in other people’s memories but retaining none of it for myself. let me tell you though, technology can be your best friend or worst enemy when it comes to wanting to remember (or begging to forget) certain things.

i don’t like waking up and checking my phone to see if i’ve said anything stupid, embarrassing, or hurtful. on nicer days, i will see that people texted me fun times, good night, and so forth. on bad ones, i would visibly flinch at things i wrote directed to very specific people. even worse is when you wake up to an empty log. half of you want to believe it was an accident that it got cleared, but most of us know it takes a couple of confirmations before the shameful history can be erased. this is one of the rare moments where i miss the days where people just called. drunken calls and voicemails can at least be put into their appropriate context.

do i even have the luxury of feeling this bad these days? i mean, i said and did things. i was fucked up. but it was me nonetheless. there’s no compromise. i can’t just go out and have fun and end things there. i want to remember all the good feelings, but once i get to investigating why i had such a good time, i’m finding out things I don’t particularly remember saying or doing. welcome to Blackout-ville. how may i not help you today?

so it’s goodbye to dignity, hello to insecurities and utter remorse. i can only piece so much of the puzzle together with what bruises appear in the next few days (right now i have eight new ones since tuesday evening, some spots are still tender and others I’m not able to see without another set of eyes). the investigation usually backfires when people laugh and the only answer i’ll ever get is “you really don’t remember?”

it sucks because i remember it being so much fun. i guess it’s time to embrace fun as a fleeting sensation, but it would be nice to have some solid memories to go with that. can’t just squint my eyes to make things appear clearer—there is no optical illusion in this except i can't/don’t know how to distinguish between what actually happened and what was just an embellished thought i mistook for reality.

i probably deserve this. what person runs around punching and kicking people (half of whom i just met that night and whose living-room-turned-dance-floor i was being crazy on) and calls it fun? from the looks of it, i inflicted more damage on myself than anyone else. sigh.

***

“hey, did i fall on my head? it kinda hurts”

“well, after reviewing the video…i think you may have a few times”

“there was a video?!”

damn. reading this post over was like vomit on my ego. i swear i'm not so obsessive all the time and am able to have a good time, sometimes, maybe.. ? ugh.

2010-07-01T09:19:00.000-07:00

chair: no more shmoke

i have this habit of announcing everything i'm about to do like it's a big deal. borderline narcissism disorder.

so are you ready? this one is good. i quit smoking cigs! and i'm recruiting everyone!

there are a million reasons: i'm getting old and the signs of smoking are showing in my skin, i can cross it off my lengthy list of vices, and frankly there is no point. i picked up smoking socially...i don't know when. and i was a very spoiled smoker--i had special cigarettes shipped to me monthly from japan so i was never without the tasty citrus mentholy goodness that was a lucia. i loved the act of smoking while driving, smoking while chatting, smoking while laying down, smoking to enhance other substances, even sometimes sharing a cig was nice.

but i don't think i was ever dependent on them. it's been two weeks and i've had two. the most difficult times are when i'm stressed and just want to sit on a bench and have a puff. drinking or being around other smokers doesn't really bother me, so i guess that's good.

so if you're interested, please join me. quit gradually, have an occasional cig, whatever. if you're looking for a high, the one that comes with knowing you've liberated yourself from a dirty habit is quite nice, too.

i'm still drinking like a mofo though so i don't know. don't listen to me. haha

2010-06-22T02:29:00.000-07:00

agIsh: ...the Japanese are at it again.

When will they ever learn? They already gave us the Playstation and hentai! They don't have to prove anything else to us!

nv/ag

2010-05-25T01:40:00.001-07:00

agIsh: ...

What the hell is up with this bear?

I can't even do this...and I have thumbs! Now, more than ever, I feel like a huge failure. Thanks a lot, bear! :(

nv@ag

2010-05-19T10:05:00.000-07:00

chair: hammock

new hammock album made my week.

2010-05-19T09:40:00.000-07:00

chair: is not dead

there's this technique they use in movies where they speed up the surroundings but the focus object is left standing still? anyway, that's kind of how i feel lately. things seem to be moving really fast but i'm always back at square one.

i *do* have some good news.

- i graduated drug rehabilitation! legitimate certificate and everything, albeit it's a printed template with my name scribbled on by the same girl who watched me pee (clean ><) into a cup 3x.

- took a short trip to japan. i visited my gf in tokyo, with no real agenda other than spending time together and relaxing. there is always a kind of bitchy chaos when we reunite, and i love it. many mini-misadventures that involved us traveling to the northern part of japan (hokkaido), getting lost on the trains, being in the snow at a ski resort but never actually touching the snow (too busy getting drunk and bathing in hot springs), random tokyo madness, her parents recruiting me as their drinking buddy. i think the most important thing i got out of this trip was just to reconnect with her. it's so easy to feel like a few lines of hi, hello, howreyoudoin will suffice in this digital age but unless i get the emotional reassurance that comes with actually being with somebody, i'm left with an uneasy feeling of emptiness.

- work sucks. whatever the corporate ladder is, i think i'm climbing it. it's great to be interacting with clients and traveling is fun, too...but still, this corporate atmosphere is suffocating and i don't know if i can last much longer. p.s. i'll be on oakland first week of june, visit me!!

my friend took this picture of me on a train in tokyo and labeled it "lonely girl."

2010-05-03T12:08:00.000-07:00

bg/ish: Moby - Wait For Me

Nice new track from Moby. I found the video to be quite charming, if slightly depressing.

2010-05-03T11:58:00.000-07:00

bg/ish: And Then It Got A Bit Dusty In Here...

This video is one of those that if you're on the web at all this week, you're probably going to come across. But if you haven't, well, check it out.

According to the YouTube page: This stray cat was filmed in Turkey( Kızılsaray district of Antalya ) trying to reanimate his female friend who got hit by a car. Even though some people tried to help him, the white cat wouldn't let them come near for two straight hours. Finally a vet arrived and took the injured cat. Sadly, it was too late and he couldnt resuscitate the feline.

Or, as The Daily Wh.at put it, "Excuse me, I’ve got something in my eye. It’s tears. From crying forever."

2010-04-30T12:11:00.000-07:00

bg/ish: Sweet

Do it for somebody...

2010-04-30T10:31:00.000-07:00

bg/ish: Wake Up!

I awoke this morning with a start and the stomach churning pangs of anxiety. I had been looking for someone in my dream, but was only able to see them in mirrors. What did it all mean?

I took some notes, but I cannot decipher any of them...

2010-04-23T18:44:00.001-07:00

agIsh: So a funny thing happened to me on the way to the floor...

...I went through the ceiling.

I was pissed when it happened. But now it's total hilarity. I could've easily banged my head against the wood braces but managed to walk away with a bruise and some scratches.

This proves it: I'M INVULNERABLE!

Be well,
nv@ag

2010-04-15T15:08:00.000-07:00

2010-04-09T12:23:00.001-07:00

bg/ish: Unnecessary Censorship

One of my favorite running jokes from Kimmel.

2010-04-02T13:39:00.000-07:00

bg/ish: And We're Back... Pics From The Getty

Back from vacation. Had a lovely time. More words/images from that to come, possibly later on today. In the meantime, I'm catching up on posting some pics I've been neglecting. So here are some photos from our last trip down to SoCal, the Getty Museum in particular. Not a lot really, just a few we snapped for fun.

2010-03-26T23:27:00.000-07:00

bg/ish: On Vacation

2010-03-22T11:38:00.000-07:00

bg/ish: Friday Night (or, the Epitome of Laziness)

Rather than take any time to actually write a new post, I resorted to pressing "Record" on my webcam at random on Friday night. I was trying to play FIFA, my buddy George was ranting on and on about GTA and downloadable content. Kiel was sitting in the shadows laughing at random intervals. Chewie was nonplussed. I guess what I like about it is, George doesn't know he's being recorded. He just fucking goes off like this all the time...

2010-03-19T16:24:00.000-07:00

bg/ish: Where Will We Be?

Leave the sun behind me
And watch the clouds as they sadly pass me by
And I'm in perpetual motion
And the world below doesn't matter much to me

This time tomorrow, where will we be?

I know one thing. I won't be at work. That's all that matters to me.

Beautiful San Francisco days have returned. Warm nights. Hold please. Need to hit "Replay". The Kinks will get me through.

This is the weather for mashing. For laying in the park with someone loved. Or someone new. Or someone interesting. Cold beer. A cigarette.

This time tomorrow.

2010-03-16T10:20:00.000-07:00

chair: bluebird

one of my fav poems from the perpetually drunk (and equally brilliant) charles bukowski.

there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say, stay in there, I'm not going
to let anybody see
you.

there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I pour whiskey on him and inhale
cigarette smoke
and the whores and the bartenders
and the grocery clerks
never know that
he's
in there.

there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say,
stay down, do you want to mess
me up?
you want to screw up the
works?
you want to blow my book sales in
Europe?

there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too clever, I only let him out
at night sometimes
when everybody's asleep.
I say, I know that you're there,
so don't be
sad.
then I put him back,
but he's singing a little
in there, I haven't quite let him
die
and we sleep together like
that
with our
secret pact
and it's nice enough to
make a man
weep, but I don't
weep, do
you?

2010-03-15T21:05:00.000-07:00

i'm so tired of feeling bad about everything.
there's no room left to feel good.
almost a cheap bottle of sirah (first time i've seen it spelled with an "i") in and i still feel like shit.

i don't like people.
i'm alright when i'm by myself.

i just need.. a little.

2010-03-09T01:00:00.000-08:00

agIsh

i got nothin'. not a youtube clip. not a sound byte. not a picture. not a link. not even a nice little anecdote. nothing. i feel really obligated to say something, though, not because i have something interesting to say, but to let the accounting department at The Pub know that i'm alive and not to cancel my 401K.

i hope everyone is doing well. i'm content. that's an efficient way of saying 'happy but bored'. what's that they say? "no news is good news."

be well.

nv@ag

2010-03-04T12:54:00.001-08:00

bg/ish: The Cool Stays Cool...

I'm fairly certain that Jason Alexander wishes this could be purged from history. Alas, thanks to youtube, it shall remain! I think my favorite part of this ridiculous commercial is at the 0:36 mark where he fails to conceal his natural "George" accent. "Put it togetha". I half expected him to call it the "best tasting lettuce and tomato hamburgah" at the end of the commercial...

2010-03-02T15:19:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: World Cup Fever - Gol! Gol! Gol!

I'm getting World Cup fever. Literally counting down the days... So, I'll be posting some moments of World Cup brilliance here, trying to pass it on...

Let's start with Argentina in 2006. Maybe the best "team goal" in World Cup history. 24 passes, a cheeky back heel, and a splendid strike by Cambiasso. Enjoy.

2010-03-02T12:28:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: Afghanistan

A truly amazing photo set from boston.com from their ongoing monthly series from the War in Afghanistan. Highly recommended.

2010-03-02T11:25:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: A Century For 20th Century Man

So, I've been obsessed with tumblr lately. Eventually I'd like to move the pub there. At any rate, I just hit 100 posts on my new tumblr, 20th Century Man. So, now that there's some content to page through, check it out. Follow it. Love it. Or, whatever...

2010-02-24T15:02:00.001-08:00

bg/ish: Wednesday Wobble

2010-02-24T14:57:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: Art Mijares: Punk Ass Christian

Hey Art, go fuck yourself. Contra Costa has plenty of other problems to deal with.

2010-02-19T14:13:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: "...Oooh The Fiiiight..."

So, I just find myself having to watch this from time to time. The NBA All-Star Game usually makes me think of it. Fact: Marvin Gaye is my favorite singer of all time. I've heard the bongos in "What's Goin' On"! For me, it's Marvin Gaye, Bob Marley, and then everybody else.

So, it's the 1983 NBA All Star Game, a simple beat fades in, and up steps Marvin looking cooler than the other side of the pillow in a double-breasted suit and some sunglasses. He humbly acknowledges the crowd, adjusts the mike stand, and then gently eases his way into the coolest version of the National Anthem ever. Think I'm exaggerating? Then explain the 2:20 mark when the entire crowd forgets they're listening to the National Anthem at a basketball game and just starts grooving with Marvin. Try not to dance.

Ya, a good National Anthem can be moving, and people love to talk about pre-crackhead Whitney's Super Bowl version. The Dixie Chicks and others have gotten love. Hell, Jimi turned the song inside out way back at Woodstock.

But as far as I'm concerned, no one will ever be able to top what Marvin did in the Great Western Forum in 1983. It was too cool, and too classy.

Enjoy.

2010-02-18T11:23:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: Ski Free or and Die (Regardless)

In honor of the Winter Olympic Games, I played a bit of Ski Free today. Oh what, you don't remember Ski Free? Shit. I only survived my first tech job because of Ski Free. I would kill hours and hours of time with it.

Of course, I still can't outrun that pesky Abominable Snow Monster.

Get Ski Free here.

2010-02-12T09:46:00.001-08:00

Die Antwood is...Well, Really Good

"Fuck! This is like, the coolest song I ever heard in my whole life."

2010-02-08T10:37:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: Who Dat Goin' Marching In?

It was a good Super Bowl. Congrats to the Saints!

Saints Superbowl Victory Celebration from Cottage Films on Vimeo.

2010-02-05T11:15:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: The Beautiful Game

I can't stop watching either one of these two plays from the last couple weeks...

First, I thought this goal from Stephano Okaka was the illest. 88th minute of a 1-1 match, and then absolute brilliance. (Plus, bonus points for the conniption suffered by the announcer.)

But then, a few days later, I saw this play from Real Madrid's Guti, which has now been dubbed the "Heel of God". Unselfish and amazing...

So, which one do you fancy? Let's use this as an excuse to have some fun with a little poll you can find on the right hand side of the page. The over/under on poll responses is opening at 2.5.

2010-02-05T09:44:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: This Time Tomorrow

2010-01-28T11:08:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: The Peoples Historian

"To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness.

What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places--and there are so many--where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of the world in a different direction.

And if we do act, in however small a way, we don't have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory." - Howard Zinn

Howard Zinn passed away yesterday at the age of 87.

A People's History of the United States

2010-01-27T15:21:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: State of the Union

ag's boy Obama is giving the annual State of the Union address tonight. Propaganda ensues.

As for me, I throw these things out there every now and then. It certainly seemed fitting today. Silly me though, I pissed all my good content away today in previous posts...

This post will be disappointing at best.

* * * * *

I'm going to be an uncle soon. Any day now. Which is to say, my brother is going to be a father. It's exciting. I'm basically on-call, waiting to make my way down to Southern Cal. I'm looking forward to seeing my family. Hopefully I will see some old friends. I'm ready. Just waiting on you now Elle. C'mon!

* * * * *

I feel like I'm suffering from a lack of creative outlets right now. There's just so much I want to do. I feel like I need to do. I'd like to be writing more, but working all day is more of an atmosphere conducive to things like blogging. I'm dying to do something musically, and I'm frustrated that right now I don't have the equipment or the chee$e to buy it.

I've also been thinking more lately about filming a short. ag and I have discussed this in the past. So maybe when he's done with school I can kidnap him for a couple of weeks and we can do something.

In the meantime, I think I'll need to pick up the camera a bit more.

* * * * *

Chewie goes under the knife tomorrow. Losing the lady parts. I guess I'm a bit nervous. Trying not to think about it. I'm sure she'll be fine. She's just the sweetest fucking thing and I hate to think of her suffering at all. Unless of course I'm verbally berating her or punching her in the face. Jokes.

Here's a recent shot I took of her with Kristen's new 50mm lens...

* * * * *

Fact is, for the most part, things are great. Kristen and I are settling into the apartment. She is such a pleasure to be around, I'm lucky to wake up next to her everyday.

As for this nation of ours? Well, I'd hate to be Obama tonight. What do you say? War, Recession, Millions without health insurance... It's not all good. I doubt I'll even watch...

2010-01-27T13:38:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: The Westboro Baptists Are Coming!

The Bible says, "God is love." (1 John 4:8) So, why so much hate?

These despicable hate mongering "Christians" are bringing their pathetic message of hate and discrimination to San Francisco this week.

Please, go back to Kansas.

Their tour of hateful protesting through San Francisco "includes the Contemporary Jewish Museum (12:15 p.m.), the Anti-Defamation League (1:10 p.m.), Jewish Community Center (1:50 p.m.), Lowell High School (3:20 p.m.), and Golden Gate Theatre's "Fiddler on Roof" (7:20 p.m.)"

See, not only do they "hate fags", but they're also Anti-Semites! Charming bunch.

The Jewish Contemporary Museum is about 3 blocks from where I work. If it weren't for the unavoidable feeling of self-loathing resulting from stooping down to these degenerates scummy level, I'd be all for some brick throwing violence during my lunch break tomorrow.

As it stands, I'l likely have to settle for making a witty sign of my own and hoping others turn out to drown out these racist, hateful, misguided people.

30 Best Anti-Westboro Baptist Church Protest Signs

2010-01-27T12:35:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: Back In The Saddle

I'm back on my bike after getting hit about nine weeks ago and breaking a tiny bone in my wrist. Not good times. Yesterday was my first mash. My taint hates you. My first ride was all nerves and apprehension. No confidence.

Today felt a little better. A fleeting moment of feeling good again. I'm almost forcing myself to do it. The rain had been providing a convenient excuse. Today was dry. Had to push.

It won't be long now, I'll get my swag back...

Which leads us to, this weeks Wednesday Wobble...

2010-01-27T12:31:00.001-08:00

bg/ish: Well...?

Seen @ this isn't happiness

2010-01-26T12:56:00.000-08:00

chair: untitled

I forget how my love affair with pharmaceutical drugs began. My journey through the adolescent drug phase didn’t’ even take off until I entered my twenties. High school was a sheltered, sugar-coated daze where I drifted between groups of friends, anchoring myself with the bad boys but never participating in their afterschool activities. I would only hear about their shenanigans the day after, when threats of suspension or expulsion would spread quickly across the tiny campus.

Growing up, I watched my single mother buy cases of Heineken and inhale packs of Marlboro Lights—an image that grew taboo in our family because in our culture, women don’t do that. Men are allowed their cognacs filtered with sparkling club soda and ashtrays reaching their brim, needing to be emptied every few hours. Even now, two decades and a stroke later, she secretly sips wine with her medication. The cruel irony is that she’s asking me to pour it for her. Somehow, growing up in her shadows, I’ve inherited her traits. The smoking and drinking that I grew up hating is now my lifestyle. Her indulgences were, no doubt, a result of a lonely life. And I’m filled with remorse and sadness when I think of what she might see as I come home stumbling from drinks. I’m approaching my mid-twenties now and the layers are beginning to peel. It’s funny how our silent common denominator is also reason we’re growing miles apart. I can only begin to fathom her train of thought. Me, her youngest daughter, caught up in drugs and alcohol, an obvious reflection of her past. She’s brought the topic up various times, caught me red handed and even ate my stash of tainted brownies that I carelessly stuffed in the freezer. “I feel funny,” she said. I tried to laugh it off and told her they were spoiled, while having an anxiety attack but carefully battling it with a helpful green pill.

That green pill is the product of months of feigned mental sickness. It first came in the form of a scored, yellow pill that my ex-boyfriend’s dad was prescribed for anxiety. I remember going through their medicine cabinet, looking for bottles with warning labels and checking online to see if there was any potential for abuse. I struck gold with a bottle labeled “Clonazepam”. I convinced him to give me most of the bottle, and I began experimenting. The pills became party favors that I would wash down with a beer and hand out to unsuspecting friends to try. No harm was done, or I just had no memory of it.

I do remember my next episode, a kind of follow-up introduction to this family of prescription drugs. I was in tear-inducing pain from an infected front tooth, sending me to the dentist’s office. I was still an undergrad, working part-time at an office job and uninsured. I was told that I needed a root canal for my left front tooth, which sent me into a fit of vain hysteria. Eventually, I calmed down. The dentist gave me a prescription for valium, which I knew via popular culture, made you literally melt in a sort of anxiety-free dreamland. I remembered this, shed a few extra tears, and got a few extra pills.

Idle days at the office meant my rate of online productivity in all things useless went up. I bookmarked sites with pages of information on prescription drugs, the symptoms under which patients were prescribed specific drugs, and started to memorize them. At this time, I was already an experienced drug user and loved my highs. I dabbled enough to know which highs I preferred, but prescription drugs was a new territory. My reservoir of information proved useful, as I began seeing a psychiatrist at school. It’s insanely easy to be diagnosed with depression, brainwashed into thinking there is maybe, no definitely, something wrong with your chemical makeup. I was prescribed various anti-depressants and would pretend to be taking them, but complain of the various side effects that were popularized online and eventually, I got the medications that I came in for.

I was already buying various drugs off the black market, but obtaining a legitimate prescription made life easier. I now have a certified history of mental problems and could pretty much get what I wanted out of my fifteen minute sessions. These sessions continued after I graduated and I was getting refills that I would have no use for, since my medication was taken on an abuse-only schedule. But by this time, I had shared the wonderful care-free drug with too many friends, most took to them well and I didn’t mind sharing. It was like I was injecting a modicum of happiness into people’s lives, and it made me happy.

Anxiety though, is not something to be fucked with. What started off as a casual encounter is now making me question my own sanity. I haven’t stayed sober long enough to really figure it out—but I think these periods of experimentation and abuse has made me somewhat dependent on these pills. My bookmarked pages are less about ways of potentiating the drugs and more about possible withdrawal symptoms. I’ve grown kind of obsessive, creating a calendar to track my binges, and subsequent breaks. Recent stories of celebrities overdosing make me laugh and cringe simultaneously as the autopsy reveals the list of drugs found in their bodies at the time of death. I go down the list, putting a check mark against the clinical name, quickly recognizing them in my own medicine cabinet.

I’d like to think I’m a responsible drug user. Legal troubles aside, I try to keep my recreational doses at safe but enjoyable level. Last Saturday, a close friend called me after I had gone to bed. It was an early night, only because I had started drinking at five that afternoon. “Dinner” ended with two pitchers and a little green pill that I took on occasions where I wanted to be extra sedated (that night being one). He was calling to see if I had Xanax. I did. It wasn’t my prescription, but having established a pretty effective medicinal bartering system with some other friends; I had pills of various colors, sizes, and uses. He was in a fit of desperation and although it worried me, I agreed to give him a few of everything. He was going to make a trek down from the Valley, roughly an hour commute, to pick up his bag of goodies.

I’ve had many moments of epiphany that made me want to quit, get my act together, whatever. I’ve gone on enough self-awareness hiatuses to prove to myself that these pills don’t control me. I handed the stuff to my friend, someone I considered intelligent but misguided, having only begun his drug experimentation phase less than a year ago. I gave him my verbal warning, expressed my concern, and sent him on his way with mood stabilizers. He drove off, probably back to his apartment to enjoy whatever cocktail sent him into euphoric bliss, and I went off on my own dreamless, voiceless slumber. The perfect kind.

2010-01-25T14:46:00.000-08:00

Movies...Fuck 'Em - World's Greatest Dad

"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone."

In my review of films from 2009 earlier this month, I listed several films that I was planning to watch that I felt could shake up my Top 10 list upon further review. At that time, I'd intentionally left World's Greatest Dad off of that list. I had planned to watch it, but held out very little hope for enjoying it. Well, let the shake up begin.

I loved this film. Written and directed by (four words that always put a hop in my step) Bobcat Goldthwait, it is the epitome of a black comedy. It explores the most selfish, narcissistic and easily influenced nature of people, and somehow, manages to squeeze just enough redemption out of it to make you feel good.

The subject matter is, well, I don't know... Taboo? Inappropriate? Cold? The characters are, well, unlikeable? Pitiful? Disturbed? So... why do I wish I was sitting on the couch with them at the end of the film? Why was I nearly moved to laugh and cry at the same time by someone being called a "douchebag"? Why will I never be able to hear Queen's "Under Pressure" again without recalling this film and how much I love it? (Think "Ooh La La" and Rushmore.)

Well, the answers to those questions, surprisingly enough, are, Robin Williams, Robin Williams, and Robin Williams. And if that doesn't fuck with your head as much as it did mine, then you clearly aren't familiar with my taste in film. The truth is, Robin Williams as Lance Clayton is to this film what Bill Murray is to Rushmore. And listen, I just don't go around throwing out comparisons to Rushmore on whims and fucking cookie crumbs.

Another thing, and this is something that I didn't appreciate immediately. This film is beautiful to look at. The shots are gorgeous and profound without being obtuse or pretentious. For example, near the end, Lance is walking across a parking lot, and is stopped just short of stepping over a painted parking space line by another character, Andrew, impeding his path. The symbolism in this shot is simple and moving, and when you see the film, you'll understand that at this point, although nearly there, Lance Clayton is not quite ready to cross the finish line.

I've purposely avoided talking specifically about the story. There is not a twist, so much as there is an event that drives the story forward for the last two-thirds of the film. A lot of reviews or synopsis of the film you can read will talk openly about it. Personally, I knew nothing about the plot going into watching the film, and, I think I gained more satisfaction from seeing it this way.

If you feel compelled, watch the trailer. Or, you can take my word for it. But either way, I hope you'll give this film a chance.

Bobcat Goldthwait has crafted a work of dark, foul humor, full of scathing satire and selfish, loathsome people. It's simply brilliant.

* * * * *

I have to say, the soundtrack for this film was also top notch, and introduced me to this tune, which has been wrapped around my head ever since...

2010-01-22T11:14:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: Fuck. That.

This shit gives me the perma-creeps...

Seen @ Laughing Squid

2010-01-21T11:55:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: This Is, Most Likely, NSFW

Seen @ The Percy Trout Hour

2010-01-20T12:19:00.000-08:00

Movies...Fuck 'Em - 100 Reasons Why

2010-01-17T19:04:00.000-08:00

agIsh: Pour vous...

Avert your eyes! This is for bg and no one else!

nv|ag

2010-01-14T19:09:00.000-08:00

agIsh: Cutty at best.

I'm headed for Level 2 archery coaching status soon (two of four, I think) and the prerequisite is a background check. Here are list of things I hope they don't find:

1) The stash of kiddie porn on my computer.
2) The stash of cocaine in my computer.
3) Modified rifles in my closet.
4) The master $100 plates in the tank of my toilet.
5) What I did to Ms. Karen in the girl's bathroom in the 3rd grade.
6) How I skipped grades 4, 5, and 6.
7) I'm really from St. Louis...Quebec.
8) I sold weapons to Iran back in '85 in exchange for Persian carpets.
9) Documents that show my support for the Palestinians and their cause!
10) My date of birth.

I think I'm really going somewhere with this archery thing. I'm pretty sure I placed fourth (out of 30+ shooters, I think) in our last competition, which only pushes me to train harder.

This last competition, though, had only California archers and word has it that the east coast boys are the real competition. To this I say, "Fuck them! They ain't my boys! First place is mine!"

Recurve and PSE fo' lia nia!

So, yeah, that's my life these days. What's up with you?

Update: I just found out that I placed 6th out of 39...which sucks entirely.

nv|ag

2010-01-14T12:22:00.000-08:00

Things You Shouldn't Laugh At...

2010-01-14T11:07:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: Bangs - Superstar Hip Hop Artist!

Shit. I don't even have jokes.

From Bangs8.com:Bangs is a 19 year old rap artist born in North Khartoum, Sudan. At the age of 11, he moved to Egypt with his family after his Father married another wife. He spent two years there before coming to Australia in 2003.

He has been writing rap, hip hop and pop since settling in Melbourne in 2004.

“Music is my wife”, Bangs sang in a live jam recently. He writes about life, love and hope and his music grows with him till the end of life.

It's not clear if Bangs actually meant to say, "Music is my life", and just got his English all fucked up. What is clear, though...

FROM SUDAN... TO AUSTRALIA... TO 1 MILLION VIEWS ON YOUTUBE...

Actually, 1.6 as of this posting. How many of those hits does Unintentional Comedy account for? You be the judge of that...

Update!

It can, and does get worse...

2010-01-14T10:25:00.000-08:00

agIsh: Spider-Hombre

This video is kinda stupid but also is kinda cool at the same time. 1) Why would you do that to your ceiling? 2) Well, since it's there, might as well try to use it all the time and have fun with it?

nv|ag

2010-01-12T14:58:00.001-08:00

bg/ish: A Few Years Too Late to Really Tickle My Pickle...

But, still pretty cool. The D as action figures. Def click here to see more pics, including the 'rear' of the toys and packaging. ;)

2010-01-12T13:57:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: Transformers Franchise Continues to Piss on ag's Childhood Memories... Calls it 'Rain'

I don't think I'd personally ever care to play a Transformers video game, but this looks entirely disappointing, which is saying a lot from someone with zero expectations.

More Transformers: War for Cybertron Info

2010-01-07T18:53:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: While We're Making Fun of Blind Kids...

Fact: Lee Corso is an idiot.

2010-01-07T18:35:00.000-08:00

agIsh: I got a fever...

The description for this video is the following and the two made me 'LOL':

"I guess on the cowbell enthusiasm-meter, you've got Will Ferrell on one end, and this girl on the other."

nv|ag

2010-01-07T11:58:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: Back By Popular (ag's) Demand

Back on our original bg/ag publishing site, I wrote a column called Movies So Bad, They're Effin' Rad. Your boy and mine, ag recently suggested, no, demanded that I bring this column back to life. He went as far as to entice me with a day at the beach with the interns.

I won't do it though. I cannot. The thing is, I just don't feel the same way about movies as I did back then. I don't have the same enthusiasm. My movie watching habits have changed dramatically. I no longer suckle the theaters I loved, and I don't purchase DVD's at an alarming rate any more. I'm more of a pirate now.

However, after some thought I realized, I do miss writing about movies, so, I need a column about movies that falls into line with my current sensibilities. And so, I'm pleased to announce the new bg/ag publishing movie column...

Movies...Fuck 'Em

2010-01-07T11:32:00.000-08:00

Movies...Fuck 'Em - A Look Back At 2009

Y'know, I have to admit, 2009 was a solid year for film. Like a little blue pill for my movie mojo, 2009 actually gave me a rush of blood to the head. Erection. Ahem.

For the first time in a long time, I actually saw a movie in the theater. Twice. I rented DVD's, although that probably had more to do with the quaint charm of Faye's Video & Espresso Bar and the prospect of a cozy night on the couch with Kristen.

Primarily though, these days, I'm content to bootleg and watch movies in my leisure time, at my own pace. "Hype", you are a evil temptress, and I say, "Good day to you!"

Surprisingly, I actually saw enough films this year to compile a Top 10. And, y'know, I really like every movie on this list. Of course, due to my viewing habits, I'll also include a list of films I've yet to see that I feel could possibly be Top 10 worthy. So, let's get to it.

* * * * *

First, let me mention the films from 2009 that I have not yet seen, but have plans to watch, and am somewhat looking forward to:

Fantastic Mr. Fox
I don't have this one yet. I'm hesitant to bootleg this one because I really want to appreciate the animation, colors, and set design. Wes Anderson is my favorite writer/director, and George Clooney and Jason Schwartzman as voice talent only add to my hopes for this one.

Where The Wild Things Are
I've always been a fan of Spike Jonze, although I don't have any real memories of the book this film is based on, and what I mean by that is I've never read it. It comes highly recommended by my brother though, so I'll be looking forward to doing the wild thing with it. Eh? Get it?!? Wild Thing?!?. Well moving on...

Knowing
I've been sitting on a copy of this film for a few months now. For one, it's directed by Alex Proyas, and because he directed Dark City, I'm going to give this one a shot. However, since it stars Nicolas Cage, I'm not in any hurry.

The Wrestler
Again, based on director cred (Darren Aronofsky) and from what I've heard a fabulous performance my Mickey Rourke, I'm ready to get into the ring and go a few rounds with this one. Eh? Get it?!?! Oh never mind.

Zombieland
Another one I've been holding onto for a couple months now, I've just been waiting for the right time. Like, when I'm not alone and won't piss my pants out of fear. I kid, I kid...

In The Loop
Downloading as I type this. Everything I've read / heard about this film makes me want to see it. Hella funny is what I expect. We'll see...

Up In The Air
Just got this one. Of course, it sits atop many of the year's best lists I've seen, so, clearly the hype is too much. Even your boy and mine ag suckled it without qualms. I'll probably never watch it.

* * * * *

Ok, before we get to my Top 10 list of 2009 (SO fucking played, this concept, and I know it), let me discuss the movies that inspired hate and dick punchery in me...

5. Old Dogs

Fuck no I didn't see this nonsense. But I had to walk by a poster of it almost every day for a few months, and that alone was enough to inspire Hate and Fury in my soul. Let's put it this way, this movie was released on November 25, 2009. Bernie Mac is in it. He died on August 8th 2008. That should tell you all you need to know about this steaming pile of crap.

4. Transformers 2: Revenge of the... Aw Fuck, Who Cares

Don't get me wrong. I expected nothing at all from this movie. Nothing. Still...

Like my roommate said at the time, it felt like "Michael Bay just Michael Bayed all over your face."

3. Up

Seriously, fuck this movie. I've already discussed this before. Moving on...

2. Adventureland

I really wanted to like this movie. I expected to like this movie. I suppose that, more than anything is what propels it towards the top of this list.

In the end however, I found it pretty much unwatchable. It wasn't funny. It wasn't clever. It was poorly acted, and I didn't give a shit about a single character. Let's just call it Adventurebland shall we? Haha. I'm full of this bullshit today...

1. Public Enemies

Michael Mann. Johnny Depp. Christian Bale. Fucking surefire combination for success right? Eh... Maybe not so much.

This film opens strong. The first 20 minutes or so had me prepared to see something brilliant. Everything I'd expect from said trio. And then, well, I don't know what happened. The story fell to pieces like a jigsaw in the box. I realized I didn't care about any of the characters. Even Mann seemed to be mailing in the directoral duties. It just made no sense. This film had every reason to work, and yet it failed. And that is why it tops my list of Hate and Fury, because it had all the right ingredients and still ended up tasting like a shit sandwich.

* * * * *

Top 10 of 2009

10. The Hurt Locker

I have a feeling that over the next few weeks this film could start to move up this list. I really like what I've seen of it. And by that I mean, yes, I've yet to watch it in it's entirety. It's fucking intense! It's visceral! It's gripping and stunning and fucking keeps you at the edge of your seat the entire fucking time. And that's why I haven't finished it. Shit, I come home, I need to relax son! Oh but it's good. It's excellent. I can't wait to finish it.

9. Watchmen

Although I am a fan and sometimes reader of comic books, I am one of those few geeks who had never bothered to read the Watchmen books. I finally got around to reading the books just before the movie came out. I could see why fanboys were frothing at the mouth over it. But the film had a lot to hold up on it's end. No easy adaptation this one.

As far as I'm concerned, the movie held up it's end of the bargain. Violent, sexy, true to the books, dark and brooding, explosive and surreal. Everything I want in a comic book / super hero movie.

8. Moon

Moon is one of those movies that grew on me a lot after I watched it. I certainly didn't appreciate it when I saw it. There were a lot of factors I guess, the main one being, my roommate set it up all wrong for me. But that's the beauty of a film like this, is it really should be watched without any setup at all. Don't read about it. Don't watch a trailer. Just watch it.

And don't be surprised 30 minutes in when you're mocking it openly and thinking you're all fucking slick cuz you've got it all figured out. Just let it play out. Appreciate Sam Rockwell. Rarely do actors get to chew every last bite of a role like this, and trust me, he is absolutely fantastic.

I hear a lot of praise for Kevin Spacey from critics, but in my personal opinion, I didn't care for his work much in this film. In fact, he might be the reason it's not higher on this list. Don't let that hold you back from Moon though. It's worth a look.

7. Funny People

We're getting into the range of films now that I'm going to find it hard to pick on too much. Funny People was engaging, funny, and really not the film I expected it to be.

Here's the thing. I like Adam Sandler. And not just Happy Gilmore silly / funny Adam Sandler or Punch Drunk Love serious / neurotic Adam Sandler. I also liked Click and Spanglish, and I think that's the type of balance that Sandler shows here. His role in Funny People fits him perfectly, and he plays it exactly how it should be. Strangely enough, it's Seth Rogen who I didn't really care for in this film, and that's not a knock on Seth Rogen so much as it was just for me, a miscasting.

Worth mentioning, Eric Bana. He has one of the tougher roles I think, and is exceptional.

6. Avatar

Yes, it's essentially "Dances With Smurfs". And sure, the story is for the most part, predictable and slightly preachy...

But did you fucking see it?!? I mean, with your eyes, in 3D?!? The fucking glorious fantastic 3D world of Pandora?!? Visually stunning. Pandora is as dense and immerssive a world I've ever seen in a film. I mean, I would have shit my pants and gladly sat still for another 2 hours if George Lucas had pulled off anything close to the world of Pandora with any of the Star Wars prequels. The care, the detail, the amazing creatures and plant life. Who fucking cares about the story?!?

Add to that some pretty kick ass action scenes, some absolutely fun-as-hell character work from Giovanni Ribisi and Stephen Lang, and a solid performance from Sam Worthington and it all adds up to a nice tall glass of "fuck yes, I'll have another".

5. Star Trek

Honestly, I'm surprised I like this movie as much as I do. Perhaps I shouldn't be though. I grew up a fan of the Star Trek movies. Not a "Trekky" by any means, but I enjoyed seeing them in the theaters, usually went with my parents, and always had a good time. Star Trek IV set right here in San Francisco remains my favorite.

So really, I guess I was skeptical before seeing this one. Now, I wish I'd seen it on the big screen. It kicks major ass! (By the way, I'm no film critic, so, expressions like "kicks major ass" or "it's really good" or "it felt like a punch in the dick" are pretty much as far as my range goes for these type of summary reviews.)

J.J. Abrams knows what the fuck he's doing. He entertains the shit out of me. Sometimes, that's all I want. Just fucking hit me with it. Make me laugh. Make me say "whoa" a couple times. Make me root for the hero, rue the villain and such. Hell, make the room get a little bit dusty even, if you know what I mean. Fuck. Star Trek gets play any time it wants at my house.

4. Land of the Lost

Again, just a fucking pleasant surprise for me. I mean, I would never have expected to like this movie, let alone have it crack my top 5 in any given year. Here's what works for me...

The effects are somewhat cheesy. I believe, on purpose. Love that fucking campy quality it has. Will Ferrell is absolutely one of the funniest actors working today, this we all know. But the brilliance of this film, is that Ferrell gets to showcase his toned down, understated humor, while Danny McBride brings the over the top hilarity to the mix. It's a perfect combination to me. And it had me laughing consistently the length of the film. What's more is, I was rooting for these guys, and the Land of the Lost they find themselves in is pretty cool when it's all said and done.

"I finished building it, yes, but... I didn't have the nerve to test it out. So, I thought a trip to Arby's might give me some courage, but no dice. Then, I hit Popeye's, Del Taco. 14,000 calories later, I found myself down at Subway... powering through a 12 inch veggie on whole wheat babbling to a cut-out of Jared. Still didn't give me the strength to turn that thing on. I'm a coward."

3. The Hangover

Could easily have been #1. Just. Fucking. Brilliant. In every way. You know the expression "hilarity ensues"? Well, that's The Hangover. In fact, I can't think of anything that I don't like about this movie. It's everything I'd want it to be. It never deviates from what it's supposed to be. It never takes any wrong turns. It never slips in a throw away joke. It's just a fucking romp through Vegas and if you've ever spent more than 24 hours in that town you know it's either extremely fucking insane or just another night in that filthy desert town.

Love, fucking love this flick. Hell, what could possibly have beat it?...

2. Observe and Report

Black Humor - in literature, drama, and film, grotesque or morbid humor used to express the absurdity, insensitivity, paradox, and cruelty of the modern world. Ordinary characters or situations are usually exaggerated far beyond the limits of normal satire or irony. Black humor uses devices often associated with tragedy and is sometimes equated with tragic farce. - Columbia Encyclopedia

There should be nothing, and I mean nothing funny about Ronnie Barnhardt's life, his job, his dating options, his home life, or his delusions. It is fucking tragic. And when you're thinking, "what the fuck?!?", you only realize, that not only is his life seriously tragic, but he is not in any way amused by it. He is fucking dead serious.

Seth Rogen... fucking aye Seth. I never in a million years thought you had this performance in you. (Yes I'm speaking directly to Seth Rogen, he deserves no less.) You've become a bit typecast I'd say. I'm sure you'd agree. But hey, Pineapple Express and Superbad and Knocked Up... all that shit was really funny. And you were fucking good in all those movies. But in Observe and Report, well, fuck man, you are just fucking brilliant! You make me want to laugh and cry and cringe and shout at my television like a madman and fucking cheer for Ronnie fucking Barnhardt!

I never expected it. A fucking space alien could have landed in my fucking living room and I would have been less surprised than I was by this movie.

Jody Hill, thank you for writing and directing this fucking work of genius. Ray Liotta, Michael Pena, The Yuan Twins... fuck, thank you all. Jesus fuckall this movie made my year. I mean, only one film could have knocked it out of the #1 slot...

1. Inglourious Basterds

Quentin's best film. Hands down. I almost thought putting this at #1 was taking the easy way out. But nah...

This is just sheer brilliance. This is why I love film. This is tension and drama created only with words, and the possibility of shit going very, very wrong.

Best character / performance? Start with Chrstoph Waltz as Hans Landa. Then what? Can any separation be made? Brad Pitt as Aldo Raine? Melanie Laurent as Shosanna Dreyfus? Diane Kruger as Bridget von Hammersmark? Daniel Bruhl as Fredrick Zoller? What about Til Schweiger as Hugo Stiglitz? Jacky Ido as Marcel? Denis Menochet as Perrier LaPadite? Seriously, I can't say any one is better than another.

"Wait for the crème."

Well, this is it.

2010-01-06T16:49:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: Culture Clash

Last week a friend of mine who happens to be from Taiwan forwarded me an e-mail that, well, quite frankly, was highly offensive. For me to say that, you know it was some shit.

The subject and body of the e-mail were in Chinese characters, so I essentially opened it blindly. What I found in the body of the email were photo attachments showing some Chinese people preparing and then eating a human fetus, approximately 6-7 months old.

Apparently, the purpose of the email was to expose the practice of eating unborn children and condemn it and blah blah blah IT WAS A FUCKING HUMAN FETUS BEING EATEN IN SOUP!

Sorry.

At any rate, worry not, none of those filthy images will be reproduced on this site.

My initial reaction was to IM the person who sent me the e-mail with the mandantory, "Um, what the FUCK was that?!?" Of course, none of their explanations or justifications were in any way socially acceptable. At least not to me. I mean, I was raised in the US, and you know the old adage about "two things you never talk about, politics and religion"...

..well, you could probably expand that to "three things you never talk about" and add ABORTION to that list, because in my experience, people aren't really comfortable talking about abortions, let alone talking about eating an unborn human fetus...

...let alone forwarding pictures of some mad Chinese people PREPARING AND EATING A HUMAN FETUS!

(Unless of course it's that South Park episode about stem cell research, where Cartman starts dealing in fetuses, and Christopher Reeves eats them like fucking melons... yeah, that shit was HILARIOUS. But I digress...)

So y'know, I just chalked it up to culture clash, Taiwanese rage against Chinese, or whatever. I saw the pictures, I was disgusted, I moved on.

But!...

Today when looking through Google Labs applications I came across a translator that integrates directly with GMail. So, I guess my whole point is that, I went back and translated that email. For me, hilarity ensued...

Here is the text of that e-mail, courtesy of Google translator:

Look at my mouthful acidic water, it's horrible! How some people have the heart to do such a cruel thing is clear that they do not understand the so-called bad mood cause of severe, or prefer to find mistresses, they must refuse to brutal killing of innocent young lives ah!

Apart from making money whether the loss of humanity? Human has been reduced to Makai?

Let us look at some forward post. Severe punishment of those animals. Health. Must let the top know that in China there is such a thing!!!!!!! Tears. Pray for those innocent babies. At the same time curse. Curse those damn animals. Health eternity shall not be condemned to hell do not, fall into the seamless way. Prison!!!!!!! If there is a conscience, please forward.

Dongguan, where people are eating. People, "baby. Child soup" on the table, utterly devoid of conscience! ! See there is no human animals. Health.

Actually... this isn't very funny at all. Kind of stupid really.

Fucking aye...

2010-01-06T15:37:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: Wednesday Wobble - Mark Instinct - Sketchy Maxx (Ruckus & Roke Remix)

I was going to take the entire month of January off, like I did last year...

...but, I'm in an exceptionally bad mood today. This doesn't have to make sense to you, just fucking snap your fucking neck to this shit!... What?!?

2010-01-06T10:51:00.000-08:00

agIsh: Occupation 101

"Any violence by a large population is not because these people are more violent than any other. It's an alarm, it's a sign, it's a signal that something is wrong with the treatment of this population."

You need to watch this documentary. It's a shocking look into the illegal occupation of extremist Jews in Israel and the resultant oppression of the Palestinians and eviction out of their own homes. I'm hardly political but this film has really piqued my interest and really got me thinking.

There's an amazing level of hate brewing over there that boggles my mind. What's worse, the Israeli army has every means to cleanse the Palestinians from the land while the 'opposing forces' have nothing but rocks and suicide bombers. It's a disgusting imbalance of power that the United States apparently supports financially. Between 1949 and 2006, about $62 billion was approved for Israeli aid. This amounts to approximately $10,000 of aid per person, as compared to $59 of aid per person in countries like Mexico, South America, and Africa.

Like I said, you need to watch this documentary and you need to spread the word.

2010-01-04T19:45:00.000-08:00

agIsh: facebook? more like stupidbook.

fuck, i hate facebook. yes, i have an account. this begs the question: "why do you have a facebook account then?"

i joined sometime last year because i thought it would be a good communication tool for a club i'm in. i heard that facebook was myspace but for an older, more mature crowd. sounded promising so i signed up.

turns out that "older, more mature" apparently means "whines louder than teenagers". while teenagers think all their problems matter and are important and are thus whine-worthy, older folks really think all their problems matter and are important and are thus really whine-worthy. so instead of getting something like "my parents suck" you get something like "turning my room into an office" or "i hate filling out medical forms" - really inane shit.

i shared this with bg already. my friend posted on his wall (that's what they call a profile page): "i cant do anything right." not really feeling his whiney vibe, i replied "you forgot an apostrophe. it's supposed to be 'can't'." fuck him and all who post like him!

facebook is not to used for therapy. in fact, none of this virtual space called the internet should be used for therapeutic reasons. it's generally agreed by people who are not stupid that facebook now caters to the voyeurs and the attention whores. and again, the internet seems to be going that way. The Pub might be a little guilty of that, but i know for a fact that we don't take ourselves seriously. it's all fun and games here, man (unless the Interns require other tactics to get them in line).

i don't know where i'm going with this anymore. i stopped thinking about this article for a second and now i've lost my train of thought. as with all things...'meh'.

nv|ag

2010-01-01T11:06:00.001-08:00

agIsh: First post!

I have the advantage, clearly, because I'm completely sober.

So, to start off the New Year, here's something completely inane that I really, really want.

While I'm contemplating whether or not to build this, hopefully the New Year's stories will start rolling in. If you're reading this, I'm glad you made it through.

nv|ag

2009-12-31T14:12:00.000-08:00

agIsh: To Your Health

Here's to your health because mine's compromised at the moment. I don't know how I manage it but I always get sick at the end of the year and I spend my break recuperating. So, here I am, about 10 hours to go until 2010 and I'm sick. And I know who's responsible too. Don't worry, I've exhausted all my damnings on him already; I have none left to give.

What I have left are good wishes for everyone for the new year. 2009 had its ups and a lot of downs but here we all are, which, as they say, should make us stronger. Have fun, be safe. I'll see you on the other side. Mudge love...you know who you are.

nv|ag

2009-12-28T14:56:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: Calibre - Steptoe

This track is simply hot fire.

2009-12-24T21:39:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: "Blah Blah Gay Sex, Blah Blah Congress"

Seriously though, He probably does...

2009-12-23T22:15:00.000-08:00

Happy Festivus!

2009-12-23T12:00:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: The blagguy Year In Review

Fuck. Let it be known that I am so, so tired of typing with one hand. Be that as it may, I can't continue to simply post pictures and videos on this blog as if it were some sort of Internet scrapbook I've compiled. The people demand substance! At least ag would if he weren't off cavorting with the interns. We all know why you spiked the egg nog at the bg/ag publishing holiday party ag. You ain't slick!

Eh, what can I say, I miss writing. It's only logical that my desire to write grew exponentially as soon as I was limited by my broken wrist. This is the way of things. I briefly considered doing a few installments of video blogging, but, unless you do it naked, who's really listening? So, I'm gonna do my best here. It's your boy, bg, and we're taking a look back at 2009. And ag, I promise it'll be better than that offer you couldn't refuse...

2009... Tha 'Pub on the Rise

This last year proved to be a really productive year for us here at bg/ag publishing. As of this post, we're up to 245 posts this year. That makes me pretty fuckin' proud. Sure, there was some fodder for the pile, (mostly ag's doing) but there were some pretty good ones as well.

Here are some of my favorites... (And yes, I'm trying to break the record of ag jokes in one post.)

agIsh: Less Is More

It's not often that so few words can make me laugh out loud, but ag's "watch this clip" fucking killed me. Plus, it's Louie C.K., so what's not to like?

bg/ish: WonderCon 2009

There's no doubt that I am my own hardest critic. I'm rarely 100% satisfied when I look back on anything I've written. But this WonderCon post I still enjoy. Let's say I'm 98% satisfied with it in retrospect. Cons aren't easy to write about, they're so visually and mentally stimulating you can easily get overwhelmed, curl up in the fetal position and cry, but I feel this piece covered everything I wanted to and more.

bg/ish: Welcome to Contra Costa, Land of Outlaws, Villains and Thieves!

Personally, I find comments on posts to be invaluable. Often times, I'll write a post, pepper it with a few jokes, laugh out loud to myself, then sit back and think, "Does anybody else think this is funny?"

This particular post was one that I thought was pretty funny, I mean, I still get a chuckle out of it. However it's long been comment free, so I'm left to assume that, no, it wasn't very funny at all.

agIsh: "Don't sweat the petty stuff. Don't pet the sweaty stuff."

This is how ag really is. How could you not love the man?

chair: Untitled

A slightly self serving inclusion? Clearly. But nothing makes me happier than getting love from my peeps. Speaking of love...

bg/ish: "...a lot of strands in the ol' Duder's head."

The seeds have to be planted at some point. And then...

bg/ish: "I got a feelin' in my stomach..."

...you're in it. I'm so glad I took that plunge.

bg/ish: "This was supposed to be the Summer of George!"

I feel very strongly about this post. I think I nailed it.

bg/ish: Weekend of the Wolfman

Photography played a huge role in the summer of 2009. This gallery was probably my favorite.

agIsh: *clears throat*

The post that got me back on track.

* * * * *

Whew, that was a lot to take in there. And believe me, that's what she said. There were more posts I wanted to add, but then why don't I just say, "Read the whole fuckin' blog!" It's not a book bg!

I'm talking to myself again. Let's talk about myself instead! I like that better.

Seriously though, 2009, eh? Admittedly, it's nice to look back on a year and reflect, but at the same time, what have you done for me lately 2009!?! 2010 promises to be good to me, and treat me right!

Your Boy bg, Doin' Stuff

As I start in on this section I realize, I'm not entirely prepared to write it. Just like Dewey Cox, I almost feel like I need to think about my entire life before I can write about this last year. Actually, I just need to think about this last year. Wait, this isn't making any sense. My head just exploded.

The thing is, a lot happens in a year. You gain friends, lose friends, there are ups and there are downs, it's just life, y'know? So from that perspective, it was a year like any other. There are things I accomplished this year that I'm really proud of. There are moments that will remain vivid in my memory for many years to come. The thing is, I don't really want to talk about any of that in specifics, because really, thats the purpose served by bg/ish. I share the experiences that shape me, the news that stirs and wakes me, the friends I've grown to care so much for, the jokes that make me laugh, the songs that make me shake my ass, the images that strike me, and the thoughts that keep me awake at night. In essence, my 2009 is here for you to see and read on the pages of this blog, and in that respect, I say to myself, "Job well done."

To all the people who have supported me, laughed with me, shared a drink or a meal with me, a bike ride or a day at the park, or took a few minutes out of any number of these wonderful San Francisco days to spend with me... Thank You. I hope we get to do it all again many times over. Let's not look back too much, but rather let's look with anticipation towards the future. Although it is unknown, we have the power to shape it into something lovely and amazing in our very own hands.

And speaking of "lovely and amazing", my wonderful lz, your friendship and love are without question the most valuable things that I have gained in this last year. I can't thank you, or express this to you enough.

(Don't get jealous ag, we'll always have Palm Springs in the winter of '94. We did play Palm Springs that year right? Perhaps it was '93...)

And now!...

2009, My Peeps In Pictures

(well technically the picture of ag is fom 2008, but he remains elusive and his appearance is largely unchanged.)

Here's to all of you... Cheers!

Out With The Old... Again

Ok, I'm done here. This post has left me worn out! So, I'm going to end this year exactly how I ended last year...

"Hopefully everyone has a chance to stop and reflect on the year that was, and although I don't encourage the folly of new year's resolutions, it's still a good time to evaluate where you have been and where you are going.

It's winter now, so let's all huddle up to stay warm..."

2009-12-22T14:10:00.001-08:00

bg/ish: Reason # 4,080 To Hate SFGate.com

Clearly they cater to the people, the masses...

2009-12-20T21:40:00.000-08:00

agIsh: [Too tired for a title]

The prerequisite to watching this video is that you must be bored. It's a review of Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace...and it's in seven parts. See? I told you. I only got as far as half of the second review. I do expect to finish the review, however, as I am on Winter Break.

nv|ag

2009-12-17T22:55:00.000-08:00

agIsh: Milestones

1. After school band program ~ 1985
2. Moving from Buena Park ~ 1989
3. Meeting bg ~ 1989
4. Meeting the one known only as Xuan ~ 1993
5. Graduating from college - June 1999
6. First archery lesson - June 2002
7. Meeting Rola ~ 2004
8. Taking microbiology with Darla Kelly ~ 2006
9. Joining the Long Beach Archery Team - October 2008
10. Taking my last final...ever - December 15, 2009

nv|ag

2009-12-15T13:49:00.001-08:00

bg/ish: Cooly G - Love Dub

It must be love.

2009-12-15T09:41:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: The Good 'ol Days

Fuck. I miss my bike...

2009-12-11T16:40:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: Going To The Circus

I copped a free ticket to Cirque du Soleil Ovo tonight. Sadly, I'm going with co-workers, and will thus be leaving the LSD at home.

2009-12-09T20:39:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: Sexy. Sexy. Sexy.

This is just a beautiful piece of work. See more from Leonhard Katzel here.

via this isn't happiness & Art Sponge

2009-12-09T17:47:00.000-08:00

agIsh: Robert Fisk - Obama is a Disaster

What's worse than lost hope? False hope.

I don't necessarily have beef against President Obama. I mean, I've never met the man, how can I hate him? But, as we like to say around The Pub, "the hype is too mudge!"

nv|ag

2009-12-09T15:55:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: Your Boy And Mine...

Strikes again. Dustin Nguyen does it proper.

via the thought experiment

2009-12-09T12:15:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: Wednesday Wobble

Bar 9 - Malicious Tactics

2009-12-07T13:39:00.000-08:00

bg/ish: What The Hail?!?

I just walked outside and right into a hail storm. Pretty fuckin' cool, and probably the closest I'll get to anything resembling snow this year...

2009-12-07T11:52:00.001-08:00

bg/ish: It's Monday, Let's Have A Dance