agIsh: Rapist Alert

Man, I hope they find this guy...



nv|ag

agIsh: Yet another iPad review...

My desktop has paid its dues and is hinting that it wants to be put into the nursing home. Fortunately, I've always wanted a Linux machine in the house. Unfortunately, the desktop was already stripped down for use by my non-tech-savvy dad and Linux is going to blow his mind. So, I bought an iPad. Sure, it's mildly expensive but it's easy as dirt to use and I felt it was the best solution for my dad.

In my opinion, the birth of the iPad was absolutely necessary. After all, someone's gotta take the first step, fall flat on their face, so that the rest can learn what not to do. On the scale of usefulness, I'd rate the iPad a 2 (the Netflix and Star Walk apps each get a point). Another blog criticized the iPad as being a pure consumer of content rather than a producer of content and I couldn't agree more. You can read blogs, you can view [non-flash] video clips, you can listen to music, and you can read blogs...oh, and you can view video clips. Beyond that, though, the power of the iPad limits the user to updating blogs.

It's been said that the power of the iPad is in its apps and that the right app will make the iPad the machine to have. But how much can you really do with a machine that doesn't support Flash, doesn't have USB ports, and whose processor is capped at 1Ghz? 1GHz? That's like announcing the exclusive Ferrari with a Camry V6 engine (I love my Camry, by the way...thank you for asking). Even with the little that it does, I'm seeing how slow it can be (oh, forgot that multitasking isn't supported natively).

All that said, it's a slick ass machine and very fun to play with. If your needs don't extend beyond internet browsing, YouTubing, and other useless shit, the iPad is absolutely the best option for you. However, even the serious blogger should cross the iPad off their list and consider something like a netbook.

The Pub's alive, bitches!

nv|ag

chair: how did i end up here

memories, retrospect, hindsight. these cerebral relics of the past will either make or break me. lately, it seems as though i’m leaving imprints in other people’s memories but retaining none of it for myself. let me tell you though, technology can be your best friend or worst enemy when it comes to wanting to remember (or begging to forget) certain things.

i don’t like waking up and checking my phone to see if i’ve said anything stupid, embarrassing, or hurtful. on nicer days, i will see that people texted me fun times, good night, and so forth. on bad ones, i would visibly flinch at things i wrote directed to very specific people. even worse is when you wake up to an empty log. half of you want to believe it was an accident that it got cleared, but most of us know it takes a couple of confirmations before the shameful history can be erased. this is one of the rare moments where i miss the days where people just called. drunken calls and voicemails can at least be put into their appropriate context.

do i even have the luxury of feeling this bad these days? i mean, i said and did things. i was fucked up. but it was me nonetheless. there’s no compromise. i can’t just go out and have fun and end things there. i want to remember all the good feelings, but once i get to investigating why i had such a good time, i’m finding out things I don’t particularly remember saying or doing. welcome to Blackout-ville. how may i not help you today?

so it’s goodbye to dignity, hello to insecurities and utter remorse. i can only piece so much of the puzzle together with what bruises appear in the next few days (right now i have eight new ones since tuesday evening, some spots are still tender and others I’m not able to see without another set of eyes). the investigation usually backfires when people laugh and the only answer i’ll ever get is “you really don’t remember?”

it sucks because i remember it being so much fun. i guess it’s time to embrace fun as a fleeting sensation, but it would be nice to have some solid memories to go with that. can’t just squint my eyes to make things appear clearer—there is no optical illusion in this except i can't/don’t know how to distinguish between what actually happened and what was just an embellished thought i mistook for reality.

i probably deserve this. what person runs around punching and kicking people (half of whom i just met that night and whose living-room-turned-dance-floor i was being crazy on) and calls it fun? from the looks of it, i inflicted more damage on myself than anyone else. sigh.

***

“hey, did i fall on my head? it kinda hurts”

“well, after reviewing the video…i think you may have a few times”

“there was a video?!”

damn. reading this post over was like vomit on my ego. i swear i'm not so obsessive all the time and am able to have a good time, sometimes, maybe.. ? ugh.

chair: no more shmoke

i have this habit of announcing everything i'm about to do like it's a big deal. borderline narcissism disorder.

so are you ready? this one is good. i quit smoking cigs! and i'm recruiting everyone!

there are a million reasons: i'm getting old and the signs of smoking are showing in my skin, i can cross it off my lengthy list of vices, and frankly there is no point. i picked up smoking socially...i don't know when. and i was a very spoiled smoker--i had special cigarettes shipped to me monthly from japan so i was never without the tasty citrus mentholy goodness that was a lucia. i loved the act of smoking while driving, smoking while chatting, smoking while laying down, smoking to enhance other substances, even sometimes sharing a cig was nice.

but i don't think i was ever dependent on them. it's been two weeks and i've had two. the most difficult times are when i'm stressed and just want to sit on a bench and have a puff. drinking or being around other smokers doesn't really bother me, so i guess that's good.

so if you're interested, please join me. quit gradually, have an occasional cig, whatever. if you're looking for a high, the one that comes with knowing you've liberated yourself from a dirty habit is quite nice, too.

i'm still drinking like a mofo though so i don't know. don't listen to me. haha

agIsh: ...the Japanese are at it again.



When will they ever learn? They already gave us the Playstation and hentai! They don't have to prove anything else to us!

nv/ag

agIsh: ...

What the hell is up with this bear?



I can't even do this...and I have thumbs! Now, more than ever, I feel like a huge failure. Thanks a lot, bear! :(

nv@ag

chair: hammock

new hammock album made my week.

chair: is not dead

there's this technique they use in movies where they speed up the surroundings but the focus object is left standing still? anyway, that's kind of how i feel lately. things seem to be moving really fast but i'm always back at square one.

i *do* have some good news.

- i graduated drug rehabilitation! legitimate certificate and everything, albeit it's a printed template with my name scribbled on by the same girl who watched me pee (clean ><) into a cup 3x.

- took a short trip to japan. i visited my gf in tokyo, with no real agenda other than spending time together and relaxing. there is always a kind of bitchy chaos when we reunite, and i love it. many mini-misadventures that involved us traveling to the northern part of japan (hokkaido), getting lost on the trains, being in the snow at a ski resort but never actually touching the snow (too busy getting drunk and bathing in hot springs), random tokyo madness, her parents recruiting me as their drinking buddy. i think the most important thing i got out of this trip was just to reconnect with her. it's so easy to feel like a few lines of hi, hello, howreyoudoin will suffice in this digital age but unless i get the emotional reassurance that comes with actually being with somebody, i'm left with an uneasy feeling of emptiness.

- work sucks. whatever the corporate ladder is, i think i'm climbing it. it's great to be interacting with clients and traveling is fun, too...but still, this corporate atmosphere is suffocating and i don't know if i can last much longer. p.s. i'll be on oakland first week of june, visit me!!

my friend took this picture of me on a train in tokyo and labeled it "lonely girl."

bg/ish: Moby - Wait For Me

Nice new track from Moby. I found the video to be quite charming, if slightly depressing.

bg/ish: And Then It Got A Bit Dusty In Here...

This video is one of those that if you're on the web at all this week, you're probably going to come across. But if you haven't, well, check it out.

According to the YouTube page: This stray cat was filmed in Turkey( Kızılsaray district of Antalya ) trying to reanimate his female friend who got hit by a car. Even though some people tried to help him, the white cat wouldn't let them come near for two straight hours. Finally a vet arrived and took the injured cat. Sadly, it was too late and he couldnt resuscitate the feline.

Or, as The Daily Wh.at put it, "Excuse me, I’ve got something in my eye. It’s tears. From crying forever."