bg/ag publishing

chair: is not dead

there's this technique they use in movies where they speed up the surroundings but the focus object is left standing still? anyway, that's kind of how i feel lately. things seem to be moving really fast but i'm always back at square one.

i *do* have some good news.

- i graduated drug rehabilitation! legitimate certificate and everything, albeit it's a printed template with my name scribbled on by the same girl who watched me pee (clean ><) into a cup 3x.

- took a short trip to japan. i visited my gf in tokyo, with no real agenda other than spending time together and relaxing. there is always a kind of bitchy chaos when we reunite, and i love it. many mini-misadventures that involved us traveling to the northern part of japan (hokkaido), getting lost on the trains, being in the snow at a ski resort but never actually touching the snow (too busy getting drunk and bathing in hot springs), random tokyo madness, her parents recruiting me as their drinking buddy. i think the most important thing i got out of this trip was just to reconnect with her. it's so easy to feel like a few lines of hi, hello, howreyoudoin will suffice in this digital age but unless i get the emotional reassurance that comes with actually being with somebody, i'm left with an uneasy feeling of emptiness.

- work sucks. whatever the corporate ladder is, i think i'm climbing it. it's great to be interacting with clients and traveling is fun, too...but still, this corporate atmosphere is suffocating and i don't know if i can last much longer. p.s. i'll be on oakland first week of june, visit me!!

my friend took this picture of me on a train in tokyo and labeled it "lonely girl."