I recently saw "Up" in 3D at the gorgeous and classy Castro Theater. How classy? So classy, there were no previews or annoying commercials, but rather, a live organ player pounding out the Disney classics.
But that's where the praise stops...
First of all, I'm pretty averse to organs. Don't care for the sound. Plus I tend to hate Disney. Meh. Why go see Up then? Well, I ask you, why not? Honestly, I don't know. It was in 3D. Snuck in some wine. Got a little stoned. Then the movie started, and it all went to shit.
As soon as the movie ended, I turned to my friend and said, "That was terrible." I pretty much figured that would be the last I thought of or spoke of that film. Then today, I came across this article on Deadspin, "Dear Pixar: Stop Making Me Cry Like A Little Bitch", and was so joyously reminded of my hatred for the film:
"...this time around, the people at Pixar didn't bother wasting time taking out my heart and tearing it to fucking pieces. They decided there was no point in waiting until the end of their little movie to turn me into a blubbering lump of shit. No, they had to do that shit RIGHT AWAY, packing in as much sad shit as they could into the first ten minutes of that fucking thing: aging, cancer, infertility, and death. Hey, thanks a lot, Pixar. Thanks for gutting my insides with a fish scraper. I really enjoyed that. Fucking infertility? In a movie about balloons? How is my Cambodian son Maddox Pax Zahara Pitt Magary supposed to feel about that, YOU FUCKS?
What the fuck is wrong with these people? I'm here to tell you folks out there that Pixar is not the sweet and wonderful little filmmaking giant that everyone makes them out to be. They are the single most sentimental, emotionally manipulative filmmaking entity to come along since Steven Spielberg was conceived by his parents.
These people are fucking sociopaths."
Ah, and it just goes on from there.
This is such a lazy post I'll admit. But hey, when someone else writes all the things you'd want to say about a pile of crap like "Up", I figure it's worth it to spread the word.
Hell, I don't think I spent more than 30 seconds on the crappy Photoshop job I did on that "Up" image that will likely get us "Cease and Desisted" from your boys Disney.
Meh.
1 comment:
I remember laughing when you said you hated Up, the most beloved movie since sliced bread. It was funny because I half expected you to hate it while everyone else suckled it. But I can't disagree with you as I really didn't like the movie either. The animation was great and there were some funny lines as usual, but this movie never took off for me. It started, went through its paces, and ended.
If you're reading this and you have the power to do so, please credit my life with 90 minutes (you may keep 6 minutes for the splendid animation and the 3 good jokes). Much obliged.
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