bg/ag publishing

chair: accidents

i’ve made a lot of bad decisions in my life. i’m sure it’s all a part of growing up and learning by trial and error, but right now the ramifications of several bad decisions made in the span of a few hours is eating me up.

given my lifestyle, it was only a matter of time before i joined the rest of my 20-something friends and acquaintances in the dui’d group. i just wish it wasn’t coupled with an accident and a felony posession charge. i don’t know if i can spend more time going over what exactly happened. moving forward seems to be the appropriate path here but it’s hard. a lot of people are concerned about me and assisting me in so many ways and even though it’s cheesy and cliche–it is times like these that i realize how loved i am. it also makes me feel like shit for making so many people worry about me.

i’m meeting the first of many lawyers today. he’s asking for 6k upfront. i have no idea how i am going to come up with the money. asking family is out of the question. they have been calling me and i’ve been avoiding the calls, ignoring the texts. extremely selfish on my part perhaps but with my sister’s wedding and mom’s health looming in the very near future, i feel like i can’t let them know. it’s not so much that i’m worried they will judge me; that’s inevitable. i just don’t know…

p.s. sorry to have been mia only to return with a non pub-ish entry. just wanted to let my boys know i'm ok...